Goodbye
by Senashenta
Summary: Tobias reflects on Jake's choices during the last moments before the end on the Yeerk ship, and can finally say a last farewell to the one he loves.


**Disclaimer: **Have fun, and remember- I don't claim to own Animorphs, so I can't get sued. ^_^

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Notes: Hey, this is my first Animorphs fic... I wrote it because I'm having a bit of Writers Block and I was hoping to get over it. Anyway, this is just a short story from the last book; when Tobias flies off with Rachel's ashes at her funeral. I was just thinking about it (and crying ;_; ... I'm so silly) and decided to write a quick ficcie that explains what he did with the urn when he disappeared with it. This is written from Tobias's point-of-view, by the way. So there it is.   


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Goodbye  


I flew without purpose, without direction and without thinking. My legs and wings ached, and my talons were cramped from where I was gripping the china jar in which my former best friend and love interest rested. The wind whipped at my feathers and stung my eyes. I blinked a few times and they didn't hurt anymore. 

My eyes didn't hurt, but my heart... my heart was another story. 

She was gone, totally gone... 

How could he do that? I demanded of the clouds, how could Jake, of all people, send his own cousin to die? 

There was no answer from the skies, which were silent as always. 

And Rachel... 

The ache in my chest was suffocating me. She was dead, dead and gone, and she would never be back. Jake had sent her... condemned her to death. It was his... no, _everyone's_ fault. We had all failed her; failed to save her, failed to keep her alive. 

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I had failed her... 

And she had died. _Died._

How could you? 

It was stupid to blame her, I know. Rachel hadn't wanted to die, to be killed by the damned Yeerks that she had fought against for so long. No, it wasn't her fault, but I blamed her nonetheless. I blamed her because I needed someone to blame, I suppose... 

How _could_ you? I raged, directing my thought-speak to the flowered urn that I was still clutching tightly. How could you do it? How could you _leave_ me? I needed you! I l- the trees sped by below me, faster and faster as I flew, trying to escape the reality of what had happened. I loved you, and you left me! I... 

Silence from both the world around me and the urn that I was shouting at. 

And that silence punctured my anger, leaving me deflated and empty. 

I'm sorry... I whispered. I'm so sorry... 

It wasn't Rachel's fault at all. And it wasn't Jake's, either. Or Marco's, or Cassie's or Ax's. Or even mine. It was no one's fault. Her death had been unavoidable... it was war, and Rachel had known that. She had known the risks, and she had known that the last mission was suicidal. She had gone anyway... 

Why? I asked softly, but I already knew the answer; because she was Rachel and nothing would change that. She was Rachel, who loved morphing and the battle, who loved the war. Rachel, who loved to _fly_. 

To fly... 

I looked around myself at the sky, and for the first time in days I saw it... _really_ saw it for what it was; the beauty surrounding me. The beauty that _she_ had seen. Looking down, my heart pounded at the sight of the ground so far below. _Exhilarating_. 

This was what she had loved so much. 

Rachel... the urn that had been cold in my talons seemed to warm against my skin. You're flying again... one last time... 

Something caught my eye and I turned my head to look at it. A cliff. There was a cliff maybe a half a mile away. And a thought struck me- what better than for Rachel to spend eternity as close to the sky as she could get? 

I turned toward it. 

It only took me a few second to reach the cliff, and I landed near the edge, setting the urn on the ground. Shifting my feet, I stretched out my muscles and then sighed. Before I could change my mind, I began to morph. 

Soon I was myself again... my human self... 

I picked Rachel's urn up again and turned it over in my hands. "Rachel..." 

I felt His presence even before He spoke. "She was very brave." 

"Elimist." I said flatly, without looking at him. "What are you doing here?" 

The creature that we had come to know as the Elimist sighed, "I am here for the same reason you are." He told me, "to pay my respects to your friend." 

"..." 

"She _was_ brave, Tobias." He said, "and she made a difference. You all did." 

"Yeah?" I shouted, spinning to face him. "So? We made a difference? Well that won't bring her back again, will it?" 

"No." He shook his head, "it won't." 

I was shaking, partly from rage and partly from grief. "You." I growled. "You could have saved her!" 

"No. It was beyond my power." 

I knew that. I knew the rules for his _game_ and I knew that he couldn't have saved her, but I needed someone to blame -- _really_ blame. I had tried to blame Jake, and myself, and even Rachel... and those had all fallen through. So I blamed the being who had interfered in our lives so many times before; I blamed the Elimist. 

"Tobias," the Elimist touched my shoulder, and I shook him off. "Tobias, it's time." 

I knew. I tried to deny it, but I knew. 

"It's time." He repeated. 

I took a deep and shaky breath. "Time..." 

"I'll leave you alone." He told me, then stepped back. "She was brave, Tobias. She didn't deserve to die, but she was brave and she loved you." He -- or at least the visage of an elderly man -- smiled. And then he was gone. 

"Rachel... I-" I looked down at the urn in my hands, and then carefully removed the lid. "I loved you... I still do..." 

Turning my eyes downward, I noted how high from the ground we were. Rachel would have liked it. Stretching my arm out, I upturned to urn, pouring the ashes of my friend out into the air. Goodbye Rachel. 

And the wind whisked the ashes away, carrying them through the sky as if- even in death- she had the wings of an Eagle. 

"Goodbye..." 

I demorphed and flew away. And Rachel flew right alongside me. 

One last time. 

Goodbye.

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End 


End file.
